![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.kumasionlinegh.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/Couple-4.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I am not ashamed to admit I\u2019m a bit driven in life. I\u2019m an ENFP, type-a, Sagittarius. I line up my goals and begin the dogged pursuit.<\/p>\n
And, I\u2019ve been heading down a different path when it comes to dating, lately. I think my idea is to listen more and sell less. When I\u2019m so engaged in closing the deal, I\u2019m less open to the honest feedback I may have ignored in the past.<\/p>\n
Here are four ideas I\u2019ve been cultivation about mindful dating:<\/p>\n
Ladies go first
\nIf she\u2019s interested she\u2019ll let you know
\nHot pursuit might be a turnoff
\nI am enough, just as I am<\/p>\n
1. Ladies go first in the new dating frontier<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s like Bumble, we\u2019ve both signaled an interest and then ladies are in charge of the next step. That\u2019s a fine rewire for me. I\u2019m beginning to listen for her to take some initiative. If there is none, then perhaps there is no chemistry to pursue, regardless of how I felt or thought she felt. We\u2019ve both expressed our willingness to meet, let the woman take the lead for a change.<\/p>\n I\u2019m tired of always being the \u201clet\u2019s get a drink of your choice\u201d guy. How about this? \u201cI\u2019m here. I\u2019m interested. If you\u2019re interested make time to get together.\u201d<\/p>\n 2. If she\u2019s interested she\u2019ll let you know<\/strong><\/p>\n I\u2019ve been struggling with this one a bit when it comes to a woman I felt a lot of chemistry with. In the six weeks since high school restarted (we\u2019ve both got kids) we\u2019ve had two coffees. And while both meetings were absolute highs for me, perhaps she wasn\u2019t feeling the same connection. Or, perhaps, she\u2019s just incredibly busy. Either way, as I\u2019ve been keeping up my end of the chat via a few texts and emails, my threads of \u201canother time to meet\u201d have been met with crickets. The communications have been very cordial, but the \u201cmeet\u201d idea has not been responded to at all. Zero.<\/p>\n Now, I could mind read and imagine, \u201cShe\u2019s just really busy,\u201d but it\u2019s only my projection. There are plenty of reasons she might not be picking up my offers.<\/p>\n She might not have felt the same connection I did, and she doesn\u2019t want to lead me on Okay, I get it. I\u2019m taking my friend\u2019s advice. And the advice of Facebook today in this quote: Don\u2019t force someone to make time for you, if they really want to, they will.<\/p>\n And that\u2019s enough.<\/p>\n 3. Pursuit might be a turnoff<\/strong><\/p>\n My most recent relationship was with an introvert. I learned a lot by hearing her express how I missed her all the time by being so driven in \u201cmy ideas\u201d and \u201cmy desires.\u201d Okay, so perhaps this uber-woman is introverted and would rather not be pursued. That\u2019s fair. So, my absence will either be noticed and responded to. She will follow-up on my email from last week with a \u201chello\u201d email later this week. Perhaps, not for another coffee, but just to say \u201chello.\u201d Because if she doesn\u2019t miss the fact that I\u2019m no longer texting and emailing her, well\u2026 that\u2019s the answer right there.<\/p>\n And even if she is interested, I\u2019m guessing that beautiful women are aggressively approached all the time. I\u2019m not going to add to her distress by being another man on a mission. (Okay, so let\u2019s see how this plays out over the coming months.)<\/p>\n 4. I am enough, just as I am<\/strong><\/p>\n The last one is a bit harder. Maybe I\u2019m not fit enough or handsome enough. Maybe it\u2019s me.<\/p>\n The real answer is \u201cthat\u2019s okay.\u201d If I\u2019m not enough, then she\u2019s not the right one.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve got to see it the other way around,\u201d my friend said to me. \u201cYou\u2019re the catch. Open, honest, and emotional men are hard to find. Someone is going to appreciate you. You\u2019ve just got to be patient until you find each other.\u201d<\/p>\n I do believe I am enough. I am practicing mindfulness and self-care in a way that encourages my own inner confidence. And, in my real measure of attractiveness, I\u2019m really joyful. That\u2019s the indicator for myself that I am in the right frame of mind. I am enough. I am the catch. And let her discover that. Or, in the case of this reticent women, listen when she doesn\u2019t discover your absence and come looking for your warm voice again.<\/p>\n Does absence make the heart grow fonder, or in her case, will she simply forget about me? Either way, the answer will be obvious. I don\u2019t have to go after the answer. I can breathe, be calm, and let her do her own dance.<\/p>\n \u2013<\/p>\n Source: Your Tango<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I am not ashamed to admit I\u2019m a bit driven in life. I\u2019m an ENFP, type-a, Sagittarius. I line up my goals and begin the dogged pursuit. And, I\u2019ve been heading down a different path when it comes to dating, lately. I think my idea is to listen more and sell less. When I\u2019m so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":13004,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"iawp_total_views":1,"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13003","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nShe might be busy to the point of overwhelm, in which case, I don\u2019t want to be another obligation
\nShe might have really liked me and been terrified of the idea of a relationship, heading into the holidays
\nShe might be still recovering from her divorce and not ready for any type of relationship
\nShe might be happy alone and not interested in dating
\nAnd all the information I have is, she\u2019s not responding to my offers of future dates.<\/p>\n