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You must have these internal conversations before walking down the aisle.<\/p>\n
Maybe you\u2019ve been together a while and are considering taking a big step, or perhaps\u00a0you just started seeing one another\u00a0and aren\u2019t sure if you should stay the course. Whatever your situation, a check-in is never a bad thing.<\/p>\n
Here are 20\u00a0questions to ask your boyfriend\u00a0about your\u00a0relationship\u00a0before moving forward,\u00a0especially if you\u2019re considering marriage.<\/p>\n
1. Is for better or worse making\u00a0me<\/em>\u00a0better or worse?<\/strong><\/p>\n Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he or she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you\u2019re not putting your best foot forward? Does he or she make you feel secure and loved or do they create drama or leave you sitting in a sea of uncertainty?<\/p>\n Happy, healthy partners bring about a sense of calm and excitement into our lives whereas\u00a0toxic partners will deplete and demoralize us. If your co-pilot isn\u2019t reliable and ready to go the long-haul, it\u2019s best to fly solo.<\/p>\n 2. Do we\u00a0really<\/em>\u00a0accept one another?<\/strong><\/p>\n There will always be things you want to change about the people in your life, but no one should be in a situation where they feel they aren\u2019t allowed to be authentic and accepted as the unique, special (yet flawed) person they are.<\/p>\n 3. Who am\u00a0I<\/em>?<\/strong><\/p>\n How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are? Take some time and think about the person you are and want to become. Get to know your values, your non-negotiables and your\u00a0short and long-term goals. It\u2019s important to get a good understanding of what you hope to experience and achieve in life and what you truly like and don\u2019t like\u00a0before you bring someone else into your life.<\/p>\n 4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?<\/strong><\/p>\n The idea of sharing a life together is not to find someone to complete you or make you happy. But let\u2019s face it: being unhappy at home can seep into other areas of your life\u2026\u00a0and fast.\u00a0<\/em>If you\u2019re always fighting or just generally not feeling great about your twosome, it doesn\u2019t mean you have to bail out (counseling might be a good option) but marrying someone in the hope that it changes things is a bad, bad idea.<\/p>\n 5. Am I feeling trapped?<\/strong><\/p>\n Do you really want to be in this relationship the majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you\u2019ve invested time or are you really invested in your mate? Do you like them or are they \u201cgood on paper\u201d?<\/p>\n 6. What am I doing to hold us back?<\/strong><\/p>\n Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Perhaps you are pushing them away for reasons that stem from your childhood or your friends are doing \u201cwhat you always do\u201d. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up.<\/p>\n 7. Is this relationship balanced?<\/strong><\/p>\n Do you feel you\u2019re both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support, effort, and sacrifice? Or is one of you doing most of the giving while the other just sits with their hand out?<\/p>\n 8. Can we have fun together?<\/strong><\/p>\n This one is important. Have you ever seen two people sit across from one another in silence at brunch as though they are being forced to walk through their day together? Not\u00a0fun.<\/p>\n 9. Can we have fun apart?<\/strong><\/p>\n Co-dependency ain\u2019t cute, y\u2019all.<\/p>\n 10. Why am I in this relationship?<\/strong>Is it because you respect,\u00a0love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or\u00a0because you\u2019re afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or have built a life you\u2019re scared to leave?<\/p>\n 11. Where is this going?<\/strong><\/p>\n Living in the \u201cnow\u201d is great, but eventually, the partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious. Are you checking in with one another and aware of the other person\u2019s expectations?<\/p>\n 12. Do I really trust my partner?<\/strong><\/p>\n For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating. If you\u2019re one of them, it\u2019s time to ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there\u2019s no chance.<\/p>\n 13. Am I with a good person?<\/strong><\/p>\n Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you vouch for them if they were a friend?<\/p>\n 14. Am I attracted to my partner?<\/strong><\/p>\n Physical\u00a0attraction\u00a0is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you\u2019re not attracted to just because it\u2019s comfortable or \u201cperfect on paper\u201d isn\u2019t fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.<\/p>\n 15. Am I a parent or a partner<\/strong><\/p>\n