The first married woman I dated was my classmate from senior high school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I went to class the very first day, I sat next to her and got her name as Virginia.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One beautiful girl. I got connected to her instantly. That day we went for a break together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When it was time for dining, I went with her and sat at the same table with her. The idea was to build a friendship with her first and later propose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But just when I was laying the foundation for a later relationship, a senior walked into her life and swept her off her feet. I was devastated. I felt like crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To make matters worse, this senior started picking on me. He would punish me for no offence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He would make me lie on the ground and step on me just because he saw me walking with Virginia, my classmate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He made life miserable for me on campus so I decided to withdraw a little. I stopped talking to her and stopped moving around with her until the senior completed school and left campus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I started pushing towards her with the grand agenda to make her my girlfriend. One night after entertainment, I stopped her in a corner and told her everything; \u201cYou see, I\u2019ve had mad love for you since the very first day I set my eyes on you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was preparing the grounds to tell you how I feel when I realised that senior Magoo had taken over. You were the reason he nearly killed me here n campus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was patient because I know how this normally ends. Senior complete school, he leaves and forgets about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Exactly what had happened. I\u2019m here now asking you to give me a chance. A chance to prove my worth in love.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I thought I\u2019d given her Romeo and Juliet lines and was waiting patiently to get a yes from her. She said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry but I\u2019m still with Magoo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ours isn\u2019t like how you described it. I was with him during the vacation. We live not too far apart so I saw him often. I\u2019m sorry to disappoint you but I still love him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t give up. When we were in the third year, I tried again. It was intensive. I was on her every day to accept my proposal but she kept saying no to me until our last day on campus when I couldn\u2019t take the no anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We sat behind one of our classrooms. I was begging her to say yes to me. She was not even together with senior Magoo but she kept saying no to me. I looked left and right. Nobody was coming so I held her head, pushed it towards me, and kissed her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It lasted for a second but I believed it would last me for a lifetime. She said, \u201cWhy do you have to force it?\u201d I answered, \u201cBecause I can\u2019t take it anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We lost contact after school. The next time I saw her she was married. Married with two kids but still looked like the girl I fell in love with back in school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She worked in a hospital I visited with my mother. She took my mom into her care and gave her the best attention she needed. I called her when she was on duty to ask how my mom was doing and she gave me an update.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mom spent a week at the hospital. That gave me the opportunity to see Virginia every day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When my mom was discharged, I met Virginia after her shift just to show appreciation and she said, \u201cLet\u2019s do it better. I\u2019m off this weekend. If you have time we can meet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We met and it was our time in school that dominated the conversation. I said, \u201cGirl I was madly in love with you.\u201d She responded, \u201cI was too young to understand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You know I still remember that kiss you stole from me?\u201d I said, \u201cHow would you forget? It is the mark of the beast.\u201d We laughed. I sat next to her in her car as we look for a good place where I could alight and get a car back to my house. Tension built.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I could feel it and I knew if I try I would get her so I tried giving her a peck on her cheek and she met me with her lips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Relationship blossomed. We were together for about two years. I didn\u2019t leave her and she didn\u2019t leave me. As I write this, I believe if I should call her right now to meet me, she would.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Was she lonely in her marriage? Was her husband treating her badly? Did she lack attention? The answer to these questions is no. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The second married woman was a dentist. Married for nine years with three kids. I had issues with my teeth and I went to her clinic. A clinic she owns. She checked my teeth and asked me to come back in a week\u2019s time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I went back and she said, \u201cYou\u2019ve done very well for coming. A lot of people come here and you ask them to come back but they don\u2019t. All because they saw improvement after they had left.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She did something to my teeth and gave me her card. She said, \u201cIf it starts to get painful in the night, give me a call, I will show you what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I went home and nothing happened. Three days later I called her and she gave the impression of someone who wanted to be a friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We kept calling each other until we met one Saturday evening. She said, \u201cIf you showed me your house and you told me it was ok to visit, then maybe one day I will pass by.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She passed by one day and by the time she left, we were in a relationship. A good-looking woman who smells like a flower garden. I loved her so much at some point I wished she was not married. We spent time in beautiful places.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would be with her and she would be video calling her husband who thought she had travelled for a workshop. They would be doing lovey-dovey stuff right when I\u2019m around but hidden from view.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The questions that ran through my head were, \u201cIf she loves her husband so much then why is she here with me?\u201d This is a question I couldn\u2019t bring myself to ask her. From the onset, she made it clear that we can\u2019t discuss her marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMy marriage is off-topic. I\u2019m with you because I like you genuinely. Let\u2019s keep the conversation around the feelings we have for each other and not my family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wasn\u2019t giving her anything but she was ok spending it on me whenever we had to spend a night in a place. She would post her family on her status and thank God for blessing her with such a beautiful family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She would doll on her husband all day and later sneak into my arms. That was something I couldn\u2019t understand but couldn\u2019t also talk about because it was a no go area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We dated intensively for two years until we started pulling away little by little from each other. We didn\u2019t draw the curtains on the relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think I should call her right now and say, \u201cI miss you. Why don\u2019t you come over?\u201d She may come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m a man. I need a woman of my own. No matter how good these women were to me, I wasn\u2019t going to own them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They loved their husbands so much they wouldn\u2019t leave them for me so I set out to look for my own. I met Agnes and we\u2019ve dated for four years. I\u2019ve been faithful to her all these years that we\u2019ve been together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When I made a decision to walk away from married women, I made it a point never to look back or look left and right for another woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was always Agnes. So far so good. She\u2019s been a good woman. She doesn\u2019t talk too much. She rather shows her love than talk about it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To me, marriage is a value proposition. You marry a woman who brings value to your life the same way you also improve her life. Other than that, I see no reason to be with a woman just because of love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Agnes has the brain of a winner and she uses it at any given point. Anything she touches turns to gold. Gold has value and it\u2019s the reason I\u2019m stuck with her. Recently the conversation has become about marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She asks me when we are going to get married. She asks about future plans and even the number of kids we plan to have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All the things women get jiggy about when it\u2019s about marriage. I love her. I would like to marry her but you know what? I\u2019m scared. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t trust Agnes to be faithful to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She hasn\u2019t done anything for me to suspect her but those two married women I dated have given me all the reasons not to trust a woman. Agnes looks happy when she\u2019s with me. Virginia looked happy with her husband. The dentist too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But all the while they were expressing their love for their husband, they were with me doing things they should have done with only their husbands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I think about it and I feel so cold. I even shiver at the thought of it because it happened. And I was there when it happened. I was the one it happened to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So Agnes wants to marry. I want to marry her too but I can\u2019t let go of the thoughts of her cheating with another man. Not because I did it but because I\u2019ve come to believe that women would cheat even when you give them everything they want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They can be happy and smile with you just when they had returned from another man\u2019s bed. This is the reason I haven\u2019t been able to commit to marriage plans with Agnes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s too scary. But I want to do it. I want to bring myself to a place where I can believe and take a step.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So my question is, how do I shake this thought off my head and stay positive? I don\u2019t want to marry her and wear the same pant as her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Be suspicious of the little things she does. She wants her freedom after marriage and I would want to be able to guarantee that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do I do it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n